I'm also delusionally betrothed to Tom Hiddleston.
Sidebar credit: wendy-hiddles god bless gif makers
we live in a world where pizza gets to your house before the police.
That’s because the pizza guy has consequences if his job is done incorrectly.
“IT’S IN OUR NATURE TO WANT TO WATCH OUR HUMAN FRAILTIES PLAYED OUT ON A HUGE, EPIC CANVAS." - TWH
Tulsa, Oklahoma near the original Black Wall Street.
I guess that meme of DaQuan—the one y’all thought was funny—came true mhmmm 😒
- kicked their daughter out (left her at a homeless shelter)
- found out she had left the shelter to live with a guy
- tracked them down at 9 at night to yell at her
- shot her unarmed boyfriend (killing him)
- shot at her after she ran to hide in the bushes
- shot at the bf’s 13 yr old brother (hitting him in the arm)
- fled the scene
- were allowed to turn themselves in
- were put on PAID suspension
Attemptedmurder (and shooting at minors!) only gets paid leave. The more one scratches the surface..
i’m very angry and very impressed
what do you mean not everyone has a toilet that washes and massages your butt
Wait there are toilets like that?
what an incredible experience it must be
im mildly concerned about something labeled “turbo” going near my butt
ENEMA/TURBO UM WHAT
holy fuck we have our windows open and we heard a blood curling scream so naturally I went to look out the window because wow is someone getting stabbed?? and it is just my neighbour on his knees staring at a KFC chicken bucket spilt all over his driveway
Fudge recipe on a headstone
I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.
I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”
That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.
she took that recipe with her to the grave
SLAAAAY TORONTO IM SO PROUD OF THIS
I’m starting to think Canadians are the best people ever
More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married
It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve
My brothers toothbrushes over the past month
Why is he so angry